You can call me Al
So I'm watching the 25th Anniversary of the Rock and Roll Hall of fame. One of my favorites, Paul Simon comes out to sing. You can call me Al. So I start singing and we get to "There were incidents and accidents, There were hints and allegations". That triggered this thought pattern.
Incident, accidents, hints and allegations. That has been my life for the past three years. Incidents, accidents, hints, accusations, allegations. WTF, you name it I have been through it. Time and time again, things happen to me that I just cannot explain why. It's like I am being tested. I have suffered a significant financial loss. This action alone is traumatic in itself. Factor in the betrayal from everyone, including my wife. I was under so much stress that I got shingles. You don't normally get shingles until your 5th or 6th decade of life.
I was 30 years old with the stress of a 50 year old. At least that's how I saw it. Doctors advice; try to relax and take it easy. It's funny, how people tell you relax and take it easy. I don't think you can relax, when you are losing millions. I think its almost impossible. I lost 250k in a matter of three months at the beginning of 2007. That was money I invested in to different ventures. Doesn't include all the money I was paying out.
I never thought I was making that much money. I always felt I was doing alright. I am under the belief that you are not making money. Unless its 1 Million a year or more. I'm not money hungry, I really have no value for money. Take it from me I have lost millions, it means nothing. The reason why I have no value for money is because I was born poor. A lot of people don't realize Nicaragua is one of the poorest countries in Central America.
My mother brought us to the states for opportunities. All I saw, was her struggle to raise four kids; as best she could. We were latch key kids. Used to walk home from school, get home do homework, clean the house, and start getting as much as we could ready for dinner. I saw my parents cry when there was no money for Christmas gifts. It's these harsh and vivid memories that I cannot shake.
I never really realized how much money I was making; because it just didn't matter. I just knew I needed more of it. You see, when I started making money. I did what I said I was always going to do. Take care of my family, and help them out. I used to pay 3 different mortgages. I remember how stress free life was for me and my family. There were always good times, I didn't sit and count what I spent. I cherished the memories I was able to make happen.
I don't know how most people do it. I cannot live an average life. It has nothing to do with money. I just feel that I have gone through enough hard ache and stress. It's unfortunate that money has a lot to do with it. But if you can't beat them join them. I have always done the best I can with my money. I helped as many as I could. I intend to do that again. I think what you should do with money is. Give it away.
In order to do that, you need to make lots of it. So, in my pursuit of happiness. I am fully aware of the dangers that money brings. My intentions are to do good with it. I guess it's what motivates me. I am currently under an enormous amount of pressure and stress. Business, kids in private school, ex wife I can't count on, expenses and everyone looking for their cut. How do I get myself in to these situations?
I have come to realize that you have no control over your life. You think you do. For the most part we can control certain behavior. But we have no control, of what's to come. I am yet again being tested at every level. Mostly what I gather, from these experiences. Is that my faith is being tested.
I have this calm feeling, during these trying times. That things are just going to work out. I am confident it has everything to do with my faith in GOD. It took me sometime, but I understand now. Hopefully my writing is getting better? Nathaniel Hawthorne, said it best. "Easy reading is damn hard writing"
More to come.
Clos
Incident, accidents, hints and allegations. That has been my life for the past three years. Incidents, accidents, hints, accusations, allegations. WTF, you name it I have been through it. Time and time again, things happen to me that I just cannot explain why. It's like I am being tested. I have suffered a significant financial loss. This action alone is traumatic in itself. Factor in the betrayal from everyone, including my wife. I was under so much stress that I got shingles. You don't normally get shingles until your 5th or 6th decade of life.
I was 30 years old with the stress of a 50 year old. At least that's how I saw it. Doctors advice; try to relax and take it easy. It's funny, how people tell you relax and take it easy. I don't think you can relax, when you are losing millions. I think its almost impossible. I lost 250k in a matter of three months at the beginning of 2007. That was money I invested in to different ventures. Doesn't include all the money I was paying out.
I never thought I was making that much money. I always felt I was doing alright. I am under the belief that you are not making money. Unless its 1 Million a year or more. I'm not money hungry, I really have no value for money. Take it from me I have lost millions, it means nothing. The reason why I have no value for money is because I was born poor. A lot of people don't realize Nicaragua is one of the poorest countries in Central America.
My mother brought us to the states for opportunities. All I saw, was her struggle to raise four kids; as best she could. We were latch key kids. Used to walk home from school, get home do homework, clean the house, and start getting as much as we could ready for dinner. I saw my parents cry when there was no money for Christmas gifts. It's these harsh and vivid memories that I cannot shake.
I never really realized how much money I was making; because it just didn't matter. I just knew I needed more of it. You see, when I started making money. I did what I said I was always going to do. Take care of my family, and help them out. I used to pay 3 different mortgages. I remember how stress free life was for me and my family. There were always good times, I didn't sit and count what I spent. I cherished the memories I was able to make happen.
I don't know how most people do it. I cannot live an average life. It has nothing to do with money. I just feel that I have gone through enough hard ache and stress. It's unfortunate that money has a lot to do with it. But if you can't beat them join them. I have always done the best I can with my money. I helped as many as I could. I intend to do that again. I think what you should do with money is. Give it away.
In order to do that, you need to make lots of it. So, in my pursuit of happiness. I am fully aware of the dangers that money brings. My intentions are to do good with it. I guess it's what motivates me. I am currently under an enormous amount of pressure and stress. Business, kids in private school, ex wife I can't count on, expenses and everyone looking for their cut. How do I get myself in to these situations?
I have come to realize that you have no control over your life. You think you do. For the most part we can control certain behavior. But we have no control, of what's to come. I am yet again being tested at every level. Mostly what I gather, from these experiences. Is that my faith is being tested.
I have this calm feeling, during these trying times. That things are just going to work out. I am confident it has everything to do with my faith in GOD. It took me sometime, but I understand now. Hopefully my writing is getting better? Nathaniel Hawthorne, said it best. "Easy reading is damn hard writing"
More to come.
Clos
Comments